When looking for a relationship one should pay attention to how they feel about relationships. They must pay attention to what they really want, what they’re looking for, and their real intentions. If one is looking for excitement and romance, there is nothing wrong. However, they might just run into trouble after a few weeks or months. Romance is not meant to last. All the excitement – tingling, food and sleep deprivation, anxiety and stress – associated with the feeling of falling in love is intended by nature to bring two beings together for the purpose of procreation. Nothing more. It is not physiologically sustainable.

Love at First Sight

When one has the courage to look beyond romance and pay attention to pragmatic thoughts, one increases their chances at happiness. Of course, it may not seem as exciting as when one falls in love head over heels; but it leads to long lasting and fulfilling connections. Although a pragmatic relationship may look a bit boring at first, too much planned, too much based on rationality and interests, it is exactly the type of relationship that is destined to last. When two people meet and fall in love simply by looking at each other – love at first sight – I find this senseless, immature, and even dangerous.

Falling in Love with a Perfect Stranger

I find it senseless because the “decision” to fall in love is based on feelings and emotions, guided by the moment, inspired by appearances. The way both vibrate when they enter in contact with each other leads them to fall in the trap of romantic love hoping that their state of being will last forever. Love, true love is not simply an emotion. It is a behavior; a decision to act a certain way with a certain person for as long as you shall both live. It requires a commitment.

Sleeping with your Future Worst Enemy

I find it senseless because it is a way of engaging in a relationship that is very immature. When you take the time to think about the relationship you want to build, you don’t just fall in love with the first comer, the perfect stranger or your future worst enemy. One does not associate his or her valuable life as easily to everyone and anyone, and especially not with a person that we do not know. It’s dangerous to fall in love with someone you don’t know. It means giving access to your precious life, exposing it to harmful acts. It is giving away your heart to be torn apart. It’s endangering your soul, which could be shaken for a long time.

Standing for Love

Instead of falling in love, one should aspire to stand for love and be positioned to be loved in return. How can you position yourself to stand for love? First, you have to define what you want: friendship, camaraderie, companionship, a long-term relationship, an adventure, marriage, connivance, etc.

You must also define the values and principles that guide your life and decisions. What are the conditions that must be met for your well-being? Have you thought of these? For example, if I like reading and writing, it would be Illogical and disappointing for me to fall in love with a person who has no interest in reading, writing, literature, art and general knowledge. I would have a hard time communicating my passion. I’m not saying that you have to look for a twin, but you have to try to associate with someone who looks like you and enjoys the things that matter to you. Don’t we that those who look alike associate and that those who associate end up looking alike?

Being Pragmatic

If I do not like sports and I fall in love with a man who is very athletic, I think we will frustrate each other, because we will not share the same passion unless one of us changes to accommodate the preference of the other. That means I couldn’t be part of an important areas of his life and vice versa.

To me, it all comes down to being pragmatic if we want a long-term relationship: think well and choose a person with whom you associate to create an intimate partnership. Avoid falling in love altogether and choose to stand for love. This way, you will be better positioned to be loved by a person with whom you have affinities far beyond love at first sight.

Live by the #LawOfLove.

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