When you have been single for a long time and you know that you are ready to engage in a meaningful relationship, it may still be difficult for you to determine what to pay attention to or where to start. For many of us, it is also quite challenging to define what makes a relationship enjoyable and fulfilling. Based on the conversations I have had with happily married couples and the men I have been interacting with lately, I have learned to focus on what matters, think long term and be determined.
Habit 1 – Focus on What Matters
For a relationship to be a rewarding experience, it must be based on shared interests, common values, and mutual trust. What about chemistry, you might ask? It is an essential ingredient that makes one feel attracted to another for sure. Beyond the physical attraction however, you must cultivate respect, be patient, be willing to compromise and limit what you consider to be deal breakers. I would also encourage you to be open minded and stay flexible as much as you can for the other person to be comfortable in your company, and vice-versa. When you envision a life with another person, what matters most to you?
Think Long Term
Once you connect with that person, remember that your goal is to build a long-term relationship and not just to have fun for a few months. Lasting relationships are based on commitment and a true desire to stay together. If you can cultivate a strong bond and be supportive of one another, you will increase your chances of staying together. You will face life challenges together and overcome the events that bring stress to your relationship.
Seek to be Determined
Don’t waste your time with people who do not want a long-term relationship or don’t share your values or interests. Stay away from people who don’t share your views on life or don’t enjoy the activities that contribute to your wellbeing. Please remember that the more determined you are to be with someone who understands you, the greater your chances to attract such person. As well, remember that you want that person to pay attention to you with a genuine interest.
Finally, remember that you are not alone. I encourage you to have faith. There is a person that is looking for you as you are looking for him or her. Believe that you will meet someone, a good person with whom you can write the next chapter of your life. In the meantime, continue to learn from your past relationships to better know yourself and further define what you really want. Don’t be shy and take a chance, put yourself out there. Find the courage to believe in love again and it will come your way.
You can choose to Stand for Love, Always.