Falling in love, being in love, being deeply loved, enjoying romantic escapes, thoughtful gifts and touching surprises, and being happily married ever after and forever in love with our prince or princess… Many of us have had this dream. But is it simply a dream?
The Need to Connect
Love and connection are fundamental needs. We need to know that someone cares about us and about our wellbeing. That someone may be a family member, a peer, a mentor, a co-worker, a friend, a lover or a neighbour. We need to have friends that we appreciate and who value our relationship in return. Evidently, we also need to be safe and in good health as much as we need to like ourselves. When our fundamental need for connection, love and affection is not met, we may become anxious and doubt our own worth. This creates a feeling of rejection and insecurity.
Falling in Love
For many, falling in love is exciting and desirable. We have this warm sensation that makes us anticipate being with that special someone for as long as we can. We feel no need for food or sleep for a while, and we live in la-la land. We may even develop a form of emotional attachment. Romance feels our hearts and we walk on clouds.
Then, for half of the North American population, one day, we wake up wondering how we could have fallen for the person that no longer makes us feel so uniquely special. The sad realization is that we were not really in #love; we had fallen without being able to stand. We had confused love with emotions and feelings. Tingling, goosebumps, shivers, and excitement created an obsession which was never meant to last despite our desire. Yes, you did read correctly: romantic feelings, although exciting, are not meant to last. When we fail to nurture the connection beyond our feelings and emotions, we end up disappointed and thinking that the other person changed and therefore no longer deserves our trust.
A Critical Need Indeed
I have good news for you: LOVE is a critical need. Everyone deserves to be loved and to love another. Love is not a #dream but rather a conscious choice and decision to #care about another. The Law of Love (#lawoflove) allows us to fulfill our need for meaningful long-lasting connection beyond our wildest dreams if we adopt an attitude of empowerment when we consider embarking on a relationship. We can give and receive love by standing for it rather than powerlessly falling for it, thus enriching one’s life,